My friend is a reporter for a local news station. He says some pretty funny shit.

My friend is a reporter for a local news station. He says some pretty funny shit.

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  1. This guy has something you don’t see to often at the local level: contentment. He seems like he’s having a good time and he’s not trying to act like someone else’s version of a reporter so he can get bumped up to a larger market. Very watchable. I have to assume weed is involved.

  2. This guy needs to go into comedy and do weekend update type stuff.

    Also because he’s toeing the line for local news and he needs a place where humor won’t get him fired

  3. There was a time,
    a time before cable,

    when the local anchorman
    reigned supreme,

    when people believed
    everything they heard on TV.

    This was an age when only men
    were allowed to read the news.

    And in San Diego, one anchorman
    was more man than the rest.

    His name was Ron Burgundy.

    He was like a god
    walking amongst mere mortals.

    He had a voice that could
    make a wolverine purr,

    and suits so fine

    they made Sinatra
    look like a hobo.

    In other words,

    Ron Burgundy was the balls.

  4. Tried to caption the quotes the best I could, some parts were hard to make out the exact words.

    > * Do you get the tax break if you are married to yourself?

    > * Mine is a $700 hand crafted artisianal fidget spinner

    > * I find this pointy rock specifically a little bit suspicious

    > * Take eight double stuffed Oreos and put ’em in a glass, fill it up with milk and eat it with a spoon

    > * See usually were referred to as an embarrassment of a news team

    > * Man pushed the envelope with his gyrations. America wasn’t ready.

    > * Eileen asked for peace on earth, I asked for a new couch

    > * Unfortunately guys we are going to have to return that KOIN 6 yacht that we bought

    > * We need that price is right *bum bum bum bum*

    > * Ken and I have matching tattoos. Yeah, we’ve got news bros on our biceps

    > * That goes without saying. I’m just gonna… I’ll wait for traffic

    > * You know, Jane Austen. What are men to rocks and mountains? Things like that.

    > * I love my Doritos so loud. Residue all over my fingers

    > * Pretty consistent speed, even as it approaches… actualy that car just blew through a stop sign there.

    > * Except Ken Boddie. He’s always got a fat wad

    > * Through all the movie, I have space out the window.

    > * I have many, many questions, but I also don’t really want to talk to anyone

    > * I kinda ghosted my way in there, I was thinking about 98 degrees and how I know that was your favorite boy band

    > * To quote a guy we just heard, “I don’t like it”

    > * I for one am very emotional about my coffee cup designs. No, no I’m not. I think it’s really dumb.

    > * Some poor souls alarm clock went off at 6:15. Time for my favorite morning news team

    > * Puzzling. What are you hiding China?

    > * Is it example of that “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”, thing, where I’m the trash?

    > * And if you, if you could pass that along to the queen. Tell her that I’m upset

    > * Important message is that a lot of people are texting me. That’s the take away.

    > * Running is the worst, but friendship and teamwork is the best.

    > * I do need to ask my apartment building if I would be safe from a nuclear fallout.

    > * I am still a bad boy though. …?… Bad boy of local news.

    > * Hey… you know what I’m sayin’? Ken knows what I’m sayin’

  5. Did you guys go to high school in Fremont? no personal info, right?
    maybe PM me?
    I’d like to reconnect…..
    Unless I’m wrong and then I’d like to forget I ever asked…

  6. The best part about him is his ability to make jokes (about himself, others, news topics, etc) without sounding like a douche bag.
    I appreciate a good sense of humor in someone who seems to be doing it for his own amusement and not to show off for others.
    Wish he was my local guy!

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